Why Your Bad Habits Need to Go

What if the habits you lean on during stressful times are the very ones your children might mimic? Join me as I share my personal battle with old habits resurfacing under pressure and the crucial realization that being a positive role model for our kids starts with self-care and honesty. In this candid episode, we discuss how small, consistent changes can lead to meaningful personal growth, even when life feels overwhelming. By reflecting on an insightful session with an intuitive, I uncover the importance of stepping up and embracing resilience, especially when you're looked up to as a source of inspiration.

Through personal stories and genuine reflection, we highlight the power of taking ownership of our habits and setting an example that fosters resilience and persistence in our children. It's easy to fall into the trap of justifying unhealthy coping mechanisms, like rewarding oneself with wine after a busy day. However, the turning point comes with a conscious choice to prioritize progress over perfection. Listen in as we emphasize the significance of patience and the impact of baby steps in creating lasting change, while recognizing that it's the journey, not the destination, that truly matters.

Be Bold, be Brave, be You.

Thanks for you listening.
-Ryan


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Chapters

• 0:36 Personal Growth and Role Modeling
• 8:22 Small Steps Toward Personal Growth

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:37

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Speaker 1: 1:01

Hi, I'm Ryan Whedon, founder of Masters of Balayage and one of the first balayage experts to bring modern balayage to millions. And right now, masters Academy, the number one online trainer for balayage artists, is now offering lifetime memberships. That's right. No more monthly payments, no more overdrafts, just a one-time payment and you can get over a hundred hours of balayage and blonding tutorials on demand to watch and rewatch on your time. Our new Masters Academy Lifetime membership also includes our three world-famous certification programs the Balayage Masters Program, the Blonde Masters Program and the Extensions Masters Program. Not only do you get to own all three of these, now you also get master certified. So if you're stuck lacking that balayage confidence or just need an awesome excuse to raise your prices, masters Academy is the answer, and right now you can save $100 off any lifetime membership. Just go to wwwmobmastersacademycom and use code my life at checkout to redeem your $100 off promotion. I'm going to say it again. So go grab a pen and write this down Go to wwwmobmastersacademycom and use code my life and redeem your promotion now.

Speaker 1: 2:17

Hey everybody, welcome back to here. What's the name of my show? Hair Hero, hair Hero. All right, let's just try that again. Hey everyone, welcome back to Hair Hero. There we go.

Speaker 1: 2:28

That's the intro that I was looking for, okay, well, today I am diving into more of a personal topic and not just me flubbing the intros, which I've gotten the name of my own company wrong. Sometimes, when I've done my intros, you do something so many times sometimes you forget, kind of what you're doing and even why you're doing it. So that kind of maybe happened here today. But we're not talking about that kind of a personal topic. Instead, I think this one is going to actually resonate with a lot of you.

Speaker 1: 2:57

It's about those times in life when stress gets the better of us and we end up slipping back into habits that we thought we'd left behind. You know, this past year has been a wild ride, like so many of us, I found myself reaching for that extra glass of wine or two after work to unwind, you know, skipping out on workouts or just not working out at all and just really not prioritizing my own self-care the way I should. And it got to a point where I looked into the mirror very recently and thought this isn't who I want to be, especially not for my kids. And just the other day I just see that my kids look to me as a role model and look to their parents as a role model. I mean, they don't really have many other adult figures in their lives, so they need something to aspire to. I think we all need something or someone to aspire to. And kids look with their nearest surroundings and they try to copy things. And I was just thinking, if my kids are seeing me throughout their toddler years and then in their adolescence and their teenage years and every step of the way, and they see me at night. I come home after a long day and I'm tired and I just reach for that glass of wine and just kind of to unwind or even just escape, then they're going to think it's normal behavior and they're going to potentially carry that into their adulthood and then they're going to be fighting the same things that I'm fighting now. So it comes to a point where it's just I have to kind of step up.

Speaker 1: 4:40

And I actually went to a psychic not even that long ago. I didn't like go to a psychic and sit around a crystal ball or something. She was an intuitive and I don't know about you, but I believe in that kind of stuff. I don't believe they're all maybe honest or with what they see and can help you with, but I do believe in the spiritual world and that there are signs and that people can see beyond what we can see. And this one intuitive that I went to, she told me that there would be a time in my life where I needed to step up. And it's funny because to me that there's been a lot of times in my life and in business where I felt like, oh, maybe this is the time that I needed to step up. This is what she was talking about and I feel like this is just another time.

Speaker 1: 5:26

And I feel like this is kind of a recurring theme in my life where, as somebody who is a high achiever, somebody that tries to always improve and get better every single day, which is really freaking hard. It's impossible to get better every day. Those people that say like 1% better every day day, which is really freaking hard. It's impossible to get better every day. Those people that say like 1% better every day, I'm like yeah, okay, right, that's just not possible. But you know, when you do get knocked down, when you do go through those hard times, what is important is that you get back up as quickly as possible, especially if you have people looking up to you. And in my life not only do I have people that are within our company, that look up to the people above them in the company different roles, different leaders and I qualify myself as a leader and I want to be a leader and I want to be a role model.

Speaker 1: 6:11

And if you're a parent too, you know that kids watch everything that we do. They pick up on the little things, they pick up on the big things, they pick up on everything. When you don't think they can hear you or you're saying something that you don't think they're paying attention to, they end up repeating that, because they have ears that can hear from rooms away and you're just like I don't know where you got that from? And then you think back to past conversations, even if it didn't involve your kids, and suddenly you have those epiphany moments where you're like, oh yeah, that's where they got it from, it was for me, or it was from my wife, or it was from our conversation that we didn't think that they could hear.

Speaker 1: 6:51

Well, I realized that if I kept going down this path, this rut that I was in this year, I wasn't setting the example that I wanted to for them. I wanted to be the kind of role model that they could look up to, someone who didn't just talk about resilience but actually lived it, that just talk about being brave or talk about having courage, talk about all these different things. It's one thing to talk the talk, but it's another to walk the walk, and I want them to see me not just talking about it but actually doing it and living the life that I'm trying to to put in front of them as something that they can look up to. So I had to make a change. And here's the thing it wasn't about doing it perfectly, because we're human, right To err is human, we mess up a lot but it was about getting back up and trying again, even when I stumble, because we all mess up, we do. It's just part of the human experience, it's part of the journey. We don't want to mess up that big, but, yeah, there are times in our life where we just it's like an oh shit moment. I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't have done that. Now I have to find a way to be a better human or find a way to say sorry and apologize or take ownership for that mistake. But it's all part of being human. We mess up, we make mistakes. Now, in this episode here today, I just want to share what this journey has looked like for me and hopefully, some other insights that might help you too.

Speaker 1: 8:23

Whether you're a stylist, a parent or anyone just trying to live a better life, I think, when it comes down to it, the first step is just being brutally honest with yourself. We got to take ownership for who we are and it's okay to say I slipped up or I screwed up. For me, it was easy to justify my habits, and maybe if you've done something in the past, you haven't been your best self, but you've been able to justify those bad habits. I used to tell myself well, I deserve this, after a hard day, that glass of wine or, hey, that bottle of wine. I deserve that. I deserve to go after it a little hard because I had a long day. I had a great day and I'll get back on track next week. But next week becomes next month and then becomes the next year and before you know it, time has passed and you've created this new habit. That's going to be hard to kick because it's just part of who you are now.

Speaker 1: 9:24

But then something clicked. I looked at my kids and I thought about the kind of life I wanted them to see. I want them to know that it's okay to stumble, to screw up, but it's even more important to get back up. I needed to set the example, not by being perfect, but just by showing them like what persistence and resilience look like. So I started small.

Speaker 1: 9:48

I didn't try to change everything at once. I've always been one of those people, too, that would try to change everything at once, and then it would just blow up in my face. I've always been like, hey, let's balls to the wall, let's just go. It's all or nothing kind of an attitude. But when you're trying to build new habits, that's the perfect recipe for burnout and disaster.

Speaker 1: 10:14

But the first thing I did, taking it in smaller steps, one baby step at a time. First, I cut back on the wine. Okay, instead of having this like nightly ritual of like, hey, I'll come home after a long day and I'll have a glass or two of wine I mean, it's not much I didn't feel like I was an alcoholic. But then, when I looked back at how many days in a row I would do this, how many months in a row I would do this, realized that it was just not that. It was something like my body needed the alcohol, but it needed that time, it needed that routine, because without that routine, I didn't have anything else in its place. It was almost like it felt complete at the end of a long day. It's just like I had a wine, it was just kind of like the capper of it, but it didn't make me feel great, even if it was just a glass or two.

Speaker 1: 10:59

But so, instead of just first, this baby step was like I got to cut back on the wine, right, and focus on finding other ways to unwind, right, I mean reading or playing the guitar, or even substituting it with, like a tea or a smoothie. I got this awesome blender and I started making these incredible smoothies, these workout protein shakes for recovery and whatnot, and I got to tell you, you fill your body with a lot of protein. You are not really craving anything. Plus, if you put a lot of liquid in your body and you don't even want any wine, because it's just more liquid, or beer or whatever, because you're just like I'm full. So, little by little, these small changes they start to add up and you start to build a new routine. And here's the thing I really want to emphasize I still mess up. I am not perfect and I don't need to be, because it's about progress, not perfection.

Speaker 1: 11:56

If you're struggling with something similar, just remember that every small step counts. If one approach doesn't work, you just got to try another. Just don't give up the problem a lot of us face, especially when it comes to that end of the year, new Year's cycle, where we're like, okay, now, first of the year, this is going to be my year, right. And then, when it doesn't go well, or you get sick because you're going too hard, or you get injured because you're going too hard on the gym, or you're fasting and whatnot, it's just you're doing something you can't commit to over the long term. You're trying to make this big change pretty quickly and then it backfires. But what happens next year? You do it again, and you do it again, and we all do this until we realize that, okay, I'm trying.

Speaker 1: 12:39

The reason I keep failing is because I'm doing the same approach over and over and over again. I have to try something different. I have to change it up, because if this isn't working and I've tried this before then maybe I just need a different approach and there are different ways to get there. The how will change many times, but if you know why you want it and you know where you're going and your goals, it doesn't matter how you get there. But it matters trying different ways to get there, because one of those ways will stick. One of those ways will work, especially if you want it bad enough.

Speaker 1: 13:11

So, whether you're in a situation where you're trying to break a bad habit or start a new one or just find a better balance in your life, just today and as much as you can remember to give yourself grace, you don't have to do it all today. Just start small, be patient with yourself and keep moving forward. That's all that matters, because if we're trying to walk a thousand miles and a lot of us want to make that in one giant leap, you know our goal is so high and we just want to get there in one big bound. And that's why we frustrated, when we get frustrated when we can't make it or we can't do it and we fall flat on our face because it's too far away. But as long as we're taking baby steps, we are making progress. It might not be perfect, we might take two steps forward, one step back, three steps forward, two steps back, but we're still making progress toward our goal. Keep moving forward. That is the most important thing.

Speaker 1: 14:14

Now. If this topic today, if this resonates with you, I really want to hear your story. Please, please, please, share it with me on Instagram, at ryanwieden, or leave a comment. Wherever you're listening, whether it's on Spotify or Apple, or you can even I think you can send us a message. Somehow there's a little button that says, hey, send us a text. It's called fan mail or something with whatchamacallit Buzzsprout, which is who I host it with. But wherever you're watching this, please leave a comment or screenshot this episode. I love when you do this because I can share it and then everybody can see not only that you're listening, but it's kind of a win-win. I get to shout you out as being a fan of the episode, being a fan of the podcast, and then I'd love to hear your story as well. It's super cool because here's the thing we're all in this together, figuring it out as we go, and the most important thing is that we know that we, we're not alone.

Speaker 1: 15:13

All right, you might look at somebody who's at level 20 and you might feel like you're at level two. But even that person at level 20 did not get to level 20 by being perfect. They did it by making progress. And I bet you that person at level 22 might feel like they should be at level 40 because they feel that same level of maybe even regret or failure at times. But the difference is that when those that never give up, those that never stop moving forward, will finally get to where they're trying to go, all right. So never give up. Step up. Maybe this is your moment to become who you want to be. Don't try to be perfect every day. Just try to get a little bit better. Take those baby steps, keep moving toward your goal and you will get at least pretty close to it. If you keep moving forward, all right, and most of us, just getting close to that goal will make our lives feel a lot more meaningful and impactful. Thank you so much for listening and I hope to hear from you soon. Thank you.